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03 November 2011

Goth and Parents

One of the biggest obstacles of being a Goth, especially at young age, is...parents. There are normally 3 situations:

Parents who totally do not accept their children to be into any kind of altenative style. The reasons are multiple:

-They are scared that you might follow all those ugly and untrue stereotypes like "all goths smoke and do drugs" or "goths are all suicidal",  because as i said in my previous post Goths and Age, most of goths start their exploration of the culture during their teenage years, and everyone knows teenagers are usually more keen on making the mistake of following stereotypes.

-They think you might end up alone and rejected by all the people around you. They are afraid you could get bullied for your weird looks.

-They are those close minded religious bigot people thinking goth is evil. Usually these ones are more afraid of how having a goth child could affect people's opinion on them than anything else (like "omg, what will they say at the church? How will we be looked at from now on? Everyone will think we are all evil and bad!)

-They just don't get it.



Parents who are totally ok with you being a Goth because all that matters is that you are happy. In this situation parents might even end becoming goths themselves! They might start liking the music and even the clothing! They would totally support you and even keep encouraging you being so.



►Third category is: Parents who don't care at all. Sometimes these are even worser than those completely non accepting. Parents who never get interested in what you do, not even from a distance, are not good parents in my opinion. They have been young once and they know about the dangers and how easy is to make mistakes at young age and they should look over you on whatever you do,not only on the embracing an alternative culture matter.

So how to face these situations?

The only thing you can do is talk and try to find a compromise. Try to understand the reason why your parents are not accepting your goth side, explain them your reasons and show them best side of this culture, involve them in what you do!

4 comments:

Chloë Noir said...

My brother came one day from Bratislava with a mohawk and a few days later he got some piercings. So when I started to dress differently my mother couldn´t really protest..it would be unfair towards me :D She didn´t want to buy me black clothes at the begining, but now she´s the one buying me nailpolish and eyeshadows.
But, long time she thougt about both of us: "they will grow up from it". But we didn´t. :D
And she didin´t even know,that I was a goth...she thought about emo :D At least the only goth she "know" beside me is Abby from NCIS :D

BallerinaDark said...

@Chloe Noir: having brothers or sisters who already opened up the way to the alternative style is a big advantage! Less battling with parents! eheh :)

Fortunately I have always had freedom of choice over music and clothing :)

† Lamentful Miss † said...

LOL my mom think the goth is equal emo! And in the beggining she wasn't willing to buy black clothes for me... >.<

ebony soul said...

my mum shows interest into the scence.we look for clothes together and i cant talk to her about gothic stuff.but se made me promise that i will never be satanist and my attitude wont be affected by thrillers.my dad thinks that i want to attrack attention but he does approve.(sorry for my bar english)

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